Biyernes, Hulyo 13, 2012

Die Alone

Life is a cliche. Or is it? I've always believed it was until the of 4th o'July. Life is unpredictable. It really is.


I am Jenny, a corporate worker with a middle wage salary, a small apartment and a cat named Didi. My days have always been work, eat, sleep, cat, work, eat, sleep, cat, work, eat, sleep, cat, work, eat, sleep, cat -- a never ending work-eat-sleep-cat routine. But this was what I wanted, honestly... Or was it? I've always wanted a simple life, no huss and no fuss. But then again, I am getting older and life is getting shorter (and so is my hair). Am I satisfied of what I have attained?


So going back to the 4th of July, there I was... sitting all alone... waiting and waiting... drinking my soda... waiting and waiting still until he uttered "The Independence Day raffle prize winner is Sidney Chace!" Dang it! I really hoped to win that prize, I really really really did. It was a car for Godsake! I just can imagine me and Didi having fun strolls, going to picnics, going to beaches, watch a movie in the parking lot (Wait, why would we watch a movie in the parking lot?). But still, I really wanted that car... withal, I shall go home prizeless. I was sitting at the farthest table, still drinking my soda when slowly everything became a huge blur. Then... blackout. What the the hell was happening? I was half awake when I realized I was in a medical bed being pushed so fast I can feel tingles in my feet thinking 'This is the most exciting experience in my life -- being rolled.' I savored the moment and grew fast asleep. When I woke up, I was in a room -- a very big one with white walls if a must say, a nurse checking me on my side and a doctor (a you're-so-hot-I-wanna-die doctor to be specific) writing on what seems to be a... paper. I sat upright, said 'hey' to the nurse and asked the doctor what happened. He slowly approached my side, and then he sighed. Oh no, why did he sigh? This tension is killing me. He opened his mouth and uttered 


"Mrs. Lawson..." 
I was dumbfounded and replied "Hey, doc... I know I look quite old and all but I'm not yet married. Just wanna clear that out."
"Oh, then I apologize Ms. Lawson. Now, here are the results of the tests we did."
"Wait, you did tests on me? Oh my gosh, what did you see? Did you see everything? Oh no! This is so humiliating!"
"Huh?"
"Did you see it?"
"See what?" 
"Everything!" I replied as I act my hand all over my body.
"If it makes you feel better, then no, I didn't see your everything."


I hid myself under the sheets as he continued to talk about my sickness. I didn't actually understand anything he said until he said 'You need to undergo chemo.' Then I just dropped. Am I going to die? I mean, Lord are you going to kill me now? It's okay if you want to but the fact is what have I done to deserve to die? I've always been the same my whole life, so why now? The you're-so-hot-I-wanna-die doctor gave me some alone time to absorb everything he told me.. and it actually to me days to absorb it. Then it hit me -- I shall live a life that I'll remember! A life of all ups and no downs. A life that I've never expected I'll have.


So without any notice to anyone one I know (which is my co-workers and Didi -- my cat), I left and traveled all over the world thinking of only having fun and not of what I have spent. I am going to die anyways so why worry? I'll let Didi handle that. So I traveled and traveled and traveled and traveled, traveled, until I arrived in Bora Bora. The sun is shinning, ocean flowing, birds chirping -- it was perfect. I savored it all. I even tried to reenact those scenes in movies when the girl arrives in the beach, they twirl and twirl and twirl around. But I think mine was bad, way bad. I sat along the shore in silence then suddenly (with some backround music ringing in my head that goes 'Say you, say me... blah blah blah blah blah... naturally'), there he was, the man who made my trip more perfect than perfect -- his name was Karl with a hot lovin' body. My days were perfect as I spent it with Karl, I felt really good. But I never had the courage to tell him about my sickness. Until one sunny afternoon while we were strolling along the beach, he held my hand.. we strolled a liitle bit longer... we kissed... then I passed out. When I woke up, I was in his rest house. Then I saw him, with a confused look stamped on his face. I knew I need to tell him, but I didn't want this damn sickness get in the way of this fling I'm experiencing. It's too precious to be ruined by this sickness. I discerned on whether I should not or tell him. In the end, I did. I see that he was shocked, so shocked. But then he hugged me and said "You don't need to die alone."


Now I am living with him here in Bora Bora. Our days were spent preciously you wanna try it yourself. We'd have breakfasts on the shore, strolls on the beach and so much more. I never had so much fun in my entire life. Until one afternoon, when we strolled along the beach... and sat to watch the sunset... he knew, I knew... it was time. 

Walang komento:

Mag-post ng isang Komento